Sometimes, journeying through life is like eating a bowl of pitted grapes. No matter how large, juicy and sweet, you end up being annoyed with the seeds. After a few mouthfuls, and the act of fishing around for the small seed to spit it out, you get annoyed with the effort.
When my son and daughter were children, I mistakenly bought home seeded grapes (no wonder they were on special sale). After chewing briefly, a puzzled look crossed their faces. I was encouraging, ”What about the flavour?” This was just not their normal experience. Seeds? In the grapes?
With additional prompting, they admitted that the grapes were juicy and sweet. However, as the week rolled on in my house, they did not touch the grapes again. I ate them alone; pondering the fact that without the seeds, grapes would not exist. This really wasn’t a which came first, chicken or the egg riddle. Seedless grapes are graphed versions of grapes which had originally mutated; however, the annoying little pit was unappreciated. It amused me that this tiny seed held the key to the plant existing in the first place.
Well, such is life. Life is like a grape with pits that need to be chased around the mouth and spat out. Life just isn’t easy or seedless! So, in my view, the best response (and the optimal coping mechanism) is to change the approach and expectation. Seedless isn’t always better or best. It’s useful to stop measuring levels of happiness using the sliding scale of ease. Challenges can be difficult but worth the effort of finding and dealing with the pit.
Growth requires stimulation and seed-lessness isn’t the reality of unexpected bills, illness, difficult bosses, failing relationships or career changes. Instead, I try to embrace difficulties with as much energy and confidence as I can muster. Life is going to be full of pits, some possibly larger than others. Some I may even have to swallow, like a death of a loved one or a job redundancy.
The trick is to be mindful of how well I will cope mentally and to avoid swallowing anything too large to cope with on one’s own. Instead, I’ve learned to ask someone to cut the larger grapes into smaller bit-sized portions, and to consume them over longer periods of time. So, if I am ever in circumstances where the challenge is too overwhelming, it’s time to consider getting help — whether from a counsellor or a life coach.
But whatever you do, or however you decide to handle pits, I recommend that you always pause to appreciate the flavour of the grape. Remember that grapes are crushed and fermented into wine that when aged, becomes coveted fine wine. In other words, don’t focus on the challenges, pause to take in the full life experience. Treat your overview of life as if it was a wine tasting. Savour all the elemental flavours, even its complexities.
Just watch out for where you want to spit out the seeds – ensure no one is in shooting range.
