We’ve all been there after a relationship has ended. Through the tears and self-recrimination, you wonder, “Where did I go wrong?” After my second breakup, I knew something was fishy. I was missing something somewhere along the line.
Then I was stuck by the thought that something was being lost in the translation – the bridge between my understanding of what I viewed as love and my expectation. The two areas were NOT in synch with each other, and so the question arises: When someone says, “I love you,” does their interpretation or meaning match your expectations?
I think this is an important question for all of us to consider. Of course, there is the joy and romanticism of the first declaration of love that ought to be relished and enjoyed. With insight that is life experience, I now think a bit of pragmatism needs to kick in. Not as a means of self-protection, but as a sanity check so that both individuals share this same locator on their life map. You both should mark the same love indicator labelled, “You are here” on your life GPS.
Sadly, I think that most couples can be on different maps in their expectation of not only the relationship, but of their quest for their personal definition of love.
Love, a seemingly simple four-letter word, encompasses a vast spectrum of human emotions and experiences. I find it interesting that many cultures have a rich tapestry of words to describe weather (British), the intricate nuances of snow (Eskimos); food and its preparation, but sadly, far less to navigate the complexity of communicating love.
I think the simplicity of the word itself invites too vast a capability for misinterpretation and projection. When someone declares their love, should the participants not explore the depth and breadth of that sentiment? Questions should arise in the recipient’s mind when faced with any amorous declaration.
Love is not a one-size-fits-all emotion. It’s not a singular entity; rather, it’s a complex interplay of various feelings, intentions, and experiences. From the passionate love that ignites flames to the quiet, enduring love that weathers life’s storms, the range is vast.
For further exploration on this topic, you can read further observations in my blog on “Tips for Alignment in Love.”
