Are You Teaching Your Child to Embrace Diversity?

Over forty years ago, sensitivity to diversity issues was not as apparent or demonstrated within Western cultures. My own evolution and awareness of inclusive challenges and biases was a gradual process.  Certain inequities were not recognised or part of my consciousness. For example, toys for my daughter.

I was fortunate enough to have a colleague who made dolls, and one day at work she asked me if I wanted to order a handmade doll. I was curious. She then asked me a question with which I had never considered, “Does it bother you that you can’t go into a store to buy a doll with your own skin colour?”

It was an “uhm” moment. I searched my mind and realised that my daughter had only Caucasian dolls and no books which featured ethnic children. A trip to a major chain of bookstores didn’t make matters any better. These circumstances made it an easy decision to commission my daughter’s first ethnic doll, Cinnamon. It opened my eyes to the lack of inclusion that I had experienced as an ethnic individual growing up and living in the United States during the 70s, 80s, and part of the 90s.

Many parents try to instill kindness, honesty, empathy and a sense of respect in their children’s upbringing. However, it is very difficult for parents to pinpoint how actions and words affect your child’s understanding of the world. In today’s connected and shrinking world, teaching children to accept and respect others is essential for your child’s wellbeing and future success in a rapidly global environment.

Understanding Diversity: Beyond Surface Differences

It’s important to note that diversity is about recognizing and celebrating the beautiful complexity of human experiences. It goes far beyond just ethnic or cultural backgrounds. True diversity encompasses:

• Cultural and ethnic heritage
• Racial identities
• Gender identities
• Abilities and disabilities
• Neurodiversity (including conditions like autism, ADHD, dyslexia)
• Socioeconomic backgrounds
• Religious beliefs
• Age and generational experiences
• Different family structures

By embracing diversity, we acknowledge that every individual brings a unique perspective shaped by their lived experiences. This understanding teaches our children that differences are not just to be tolerated but to be valued and celebrated.

Addressing Unconscious Biases

One of the most critical steps in teaching your child diversity is recognizing and addressing our own unconscious biases—and helping our children do the same. Unconscious biases are subtle, ingrained assumptions we make about people based on their appearance, background, or identity. Children absorb these biases early, often without realizing it.

To combat this, I would suggest creating an environment of open dialogue and curiosity. Encourage your children to notice and discuss differences respectfully. Ask age-appropriate questions like, “What do you notice about how people look different?” or “How might someone feel if they were treated differently?” The goal is to validate their natural curiosity while gently challenging stereotypical thinking.

At different stages, this approach looks different:

• Preschoolers benefit from exposure to diverse dolls, books, and media that normalize differences.
• Elementary-age children can engage in more direct conversations about stereotypes and individual uniqueness.
• Teenagers can handle more complex discussions about systemic inequalities and media representations.

Practical Suggestions for Raising Inclusive Children

While it may seem daunting to expose your child to a more diverse perception of the world, here’s the good news: fostering a positive attitude toward diversity doesn’t require grand gestures. It starts with small, intentional steps that create an inclusive and open-minded environment.

1. Model Inclusivity in Your Everyday Actions:

Children are keen observers. They learn more from what you do than what you say. Show them what inclusivity looks like in action:

• • Treat everyone with respect, regardless of their background.
  • Be mindful of your language and avoid stereotypes or generalizations.
  • Surround yourself with diverse friendships and expose your child to people from various cultures and walks of life.

2. Teach Speaking Up Against Injustice: Age-Appropriate Strategies

Empowering your child to stand against unfairness is crucial. Here’s how to approach this at different ages:

• • Preschool (3-5 years):
    • Normalize differences as something beautiful
    • Teach simple, kind phrases like “That’s not nice” or “We’re all friends here”
    • Introduce concept of individual uniqueness
    • Encourage them to tell a trusted adult if they see someone being left out
    • Practice comforting a child who looks sad or lonely

• • Elementary School (6-10 years):
    • Use more nuanced language: “Everyone deserves to be treated kindly”
    • Practice specific responses:
      • If someone makes a mean comment about another child’s appearance
      • When they see someone being excluded from a game
      • Recognizing basic forms of bullying
    • Role-play scenarios like: “Can I play with you too?” or “I don’t think that was very kind”

• • Middle School (11-13 years):
    • Create family discussions about fairness and inclusion
    • Develop more complex understanding of systemic fairness
    • Learn to challenge subtle forms of discrimination
    • Practice interrupting harmful jokes or stereotypical comments
    • Understand the difference between reporting and supporting

• • Teenagers:
    • Engage in more complex discussions about systemic inequalities
    • Encourage critical thinking about media representations
    • Discuss historical context of discrimination

3. Introduce Diversity Through Books and Media

Stories are powerful tools for shaping children’s minds. Seek out books, movies, and shows that celebrate different cultures, abilities, and experiences:

• • Choose bedtime stories featuring characters from diverse backgrounds
  • Watch family movies that promote inclusivity and acceptance
  • Encourage your child to ask questions about what they see

4. Continue Building Empathy and Understanding

Create opportunities for conversations on perspective:

• • Ask questions like: “What do you notice about how people look different?”
  • Play games that help children understand different experiences
  • Read stories from multiple cultural viewpoints
  • Discuss characters’ feelings and motivations
  • Attend cultural events as a family

Why This Matters

As my daughter grew older, I was mindful of encouraging her to view her cultural and physical differences with positive exchanges and language.  I did so in the hope that she would grow up understanding and appreciating others and would flower into an empathetic, open-minded adult. It is a large commitment to be inclusive, but we can all work within our own families to inspire the next generation to live empathetically with love, respect, and appreciation for the tapestry of difference.

While parenting is a journey of growth, making inclusivity and respect for diversity a cornerstone of your family values prepares your child for not only the ability to face the world, but empowers them to embrace and view it through a lens of adventure.  You are shaping not just your child’s perspective but also contributing to a kinder, more inclusive world, filled with people of different challenges, perspectives, foods, cultures and outlooks.